Do as you expect
We as human beings experience a lot of emotions in our lifetime. These emotions are derived from some beautiful and some sad phases of our lives. Most of these emotions are situational and correspond to our mental state at a particular time. But certain emotions imbibe within us because of the circumstances and environment that we have been brought up in.
Our emotions set us apart from each other, but our like mindedness and willingness to learn from each other makes us form new bonds and unite us. We all have a different life graph and we all come from different backgrounds, so it is quite natural, not being able to fit in every new circle we encounter during various paths of our lives.
There is no guide to behave properly, nor am I going to explain one here. I am not a therapist to give you lesson on how to behave in public or how to behave with your peers. I am not perfect either, and none of us need to be. Emotional intelligence is not a rocket science. You cannot learn it, nor can you teach someone about it.
People having different perceptions may think of you differently irrespective of your intentions. For instance, some might think of your genuine approach to help poor as thoughtful act, while others might think of it as a public stunt. You cannot control what people think about you. Similarly, you cannot assume everything you think about others is always true. Your experiences with different people make you behave differently with them.
We all have had moments in our lives where we unintentionally hurt someone, unknowingly helped someone, took someone for granted, judged someone and cried due to someone. There is no psychology to control emotions. They are all natural. But owning and taking a charge of your emotions and mistakes is what sets you apart.
During my childhood, I have had many instances where I felt that I do not fit in, or maybe being a girl child I am not treated equally. I sometimes still do. Back then, when I started feeling, being left out by my grandmother over other child in my family, my reaction was just like most of us. I started revolting and arguing. Sooner I realised that my acts were doing me no good, rather, they were taking me away from my own cousins. That is when I stopped and took a back step. I realised that I cannot change the way someone thinks, but myself. I started keeping minimal interaction with my grandmother. I never disrespected her, but I did change my approach so that unnecessary arguments could be avoided. Years later, now, I do see some changes in her thoughts but my equation with her is still the same.
In all these years of growing up, I have come to this realisation that one should treat others the way, he or she wants to be treated by others. I do understand that you cannot be in good books of everyone you meet and most importantly, you need not to be. But make your actions and reactions as beautiful as they can, so that when someone think of you, it’s your little act of kindness which overpowers, your bad experiences with that person.
There will be moments, contrary to this, when you will feel that you are not being treated the right way inspite of being nice to people. You need to understand that not everyone in your life holds equal importance. Upon prioritising, you will know whose thoughts and actions are to let go off and who are the ones, you need to talk and solve things out with.
Choose words wisely while communicating keeping your genuine self intact, speak as well as listen and apologise when you feel that your actions were out of control. Do what you expect others to do. Think of yourself being in the same situation as that of the other person. This will not only help you guide yourself to be a little kinder, but it will also help you lay empathy on the person. In most of the cases we are unaware about persons mental being, so being polite and nice is always better than being harsh.
Conduct yourself in a way that others look forward to you. I am still work in progress on this one.